Wandering Cyberspace From the Cornfields

I came here tonight to close down this blog...

I am paying $8.95 a month to keep this blog up and running.  I've thought about canceling my account, I'm really not even sure there is anyone reading these posts.  I've not been in the cornfields of Ohio for a very long time.  This blog was a reflection of who I was once upon a time.

I've changed in more than a few ways.  But deep inside, the parts that really count are still there.  I have the same values I was raised with.  I still love my charity work, I enjoy knitting, I've just added a few new hobbies to the list.  Instead of charitable works at a distance, I have found things around the Dallas area that I enjoy like making sandwiches for the Dallas Soupmobile twice a month.  I love venturing into downtown Dallas.  Funny, once upon a time I was nervous about driving in downtown Dayton, and now look at me.

I think I will continue to pay the $8.95 a month.  There's a lot of history here, blog posts dating back to 2006.  This is the archives of at least a part of my life.  I think I need to preserve those ramblings from my brain, and ramblings from my heart for a little while longer.  Maybe one day I will go back and read the posts, just not yet.  I have a feeling that there are some painful memories in there between the lines.  I choose to look forward and look toward the path that is before me now. I can't go back and change the past, nor would I want to.  All of those pieces are what makes up the puzzle of my life, and I wouldn't go back and change any part of it. 

I'm alive and kickin' in Texas, happy and loving life.

I hope you dance...

I spent this afternoon at a dance seminar at Gilley’s in Dallas.  (Yes, once again I ventured to downtown Dallas!)  I felt that smile spread across my face as I made my way into downtown.  I saw some of the buildings that I painted last week in painting class—I didn’t let the traffic jam dampen my spirits I knew that I was going to have a good time today.

There were a lot of people at the dance seminar today.  Several Meet Up groups from across the metroplex were invited.  There were even reserved seats for our group. There were a few familiar faces from my dance classes, but lot of new people.  I sat with two women from Meet Up and made two new friends.  They also told me a great place close to home that offers dance lessons on Sunday night.  There are no classes tomorrow, but I promised them I would join them there next week.

I learned a few new dances this afternoon, my favorite was the barn dance where you danced a pattern and then shifted partners.  The dance moved around the outside of the floor in the circle and was great fun.  I learned a tango like line dance that let me slink across the floor and you guessed it laugh at myself.

I realized after dance class on Thursday this week that I have been learning more at dance class, than just how to do the progressive two step, the three step, the two step and the waltz.  I’ve been given a few lessons on life.

Patience--There are always more women than men at both dance class, and today at the afternoon seminar.  It can be frustrating to be the person standing back and waiting your turn until there is someone to dance with.  There were a few times today that I felt like the last kid picked for kickball.  In all fairness, I was the new person there, and really didn’t know anyone.  Each time will get easier.  Driving home tonight I realized just how brave it probably is to just get in my car and go to these lessons and events by myself.  It’s not always easy putting yourself out there to strangers.  But, I didn’t move to Dallas to sit in my apartment all weekend.  So I will keep pushing myself to do new things and tackle new challenges.

You have to let other people lead – Laughing, this really has been a struggle for me.  If we are practicing and I know what we are going to do next I tend to back lead–and every time I do that I am busted by the guy I am dancing with.  When we are doing free dance when I don’t know what might come next I am much better at letting the man lead.  I’m working on it.

Being told what to do , and really listening and trying to become a better dancer- Not the same as leading I have been fortunate enough to dance with some experienced dancers who give me pointers and suggestions.  I truly do appreciate the help.  It can be intimidating dancing with someone who has a clue when you are still in the learning stages.

Being in the moment – It’s hard to count, follow a lead and twist and twirl around the dance floor and focus on anything else.  No time for checking text messages, emails or poking anyone on Facebook.  You just have to pay attention and dance.

Understanding - I love dancing with people who are better than I am.  After dancing with other beginning dancers, I know that it’s not as fun for them as it is for me.

Appreciation for people who have been at this for awhile -  Those times when I am sitting on the sidelines, I enjoy watching really good dancers move across the floor.  I’m determined that I am going to be one of those people.  Who can just go from move to move without thinking, and loving the feeling of gliding across the floor.

I have gotten better than that first class, and the lessons do help.  I’m determined, and really feel comfortable enough to dance several dances and not be intimidated.  I’m hoping that my sense of humor help me get through the silly parts of my introduction to dancing.  I know that I can do anything that I put my mind to, and I’m putting my mind to this.

We had a break at the end of the day and had a *spread* as they call it in Texas.  There were a variety of homemade and purchased food that lined the table.  The dancers sat in groups and just shared a great afternoon together.  I arrived at around 12:30 and left at 7:00.  We do this again in a few weeks, and I will be there again, ready to learn more and for the next adventure.

To accomplish great things, we must not only act but also dream. Not only plan but also believe.–Anatole France

This month...

At least once a month I will try something new and different…that’s goal number 4 for 2010.

Last night’s adventure was attending a painting class at Painting With a Twist in Grapevine. I had purchased a Groupon Coupon back in December for a night of painting for $20.  I figred that was cheaper than a movie night with popcorn and thought it would be fun.  Whoever came up with the concept of adding wine to craft classes is a genius!

I had a bottle of wine that I purchased while visiting the hill country in Texas last summer.  The wine was a Muscat Canelli from the Sister Creek Vineyards in Texas.   It seemed a perfect fit to paint the Dallas Skyline.

The class was full with 40 people attending.  There were groups of women having a girls night out, couples, and a few single people like me just there for an evening of fun.  Many people had done the same thing I had done and purchased the $20 coupon.  The owner of the store said they had sold over 600 coupons through their offer on Groupon.com.

I arrived early, opened my bottle of wine, and poured myself a glass.  I put on my apron, admired some of the other paintings in the room and pondered taking another class.  It was a lively evening with lots of laughter and fun.  It was very cold outside (especially by Dallas standards) but there was only one empty seat.  I had a great view of the instructor and didn’t have to turn my back to watch what she was painting.

At the end of the evening we posed for a group photo with our paintings.  No two paintings looked alike, some were better than others, some were *very colorful*.  The one thing that was constant were the smiles on every face around the room. Every person in the room had a great time and went home with a reminder of the evening to hang on the wall.

I plan to frame my work of art and hang it in my apartment.  Not because it is a stunningly beautiful painting, but it’s a reminder of a fun evening, and stepping outside of the box and trying new adventures.  The teacher said last night they are working on a companion piece that will be the skyline of Fort Worth.  Sign me up!

Every child is an artist.  The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.  ~Pablo Picasso

I have happy feet!

I think I understand now about the lead character in Happy Feet.  That’s how I feel after I leave my dance class on Thursday night.  I have that rush of excitement from figuring out a new turn, a new step that puts me on a high that I just can’t imagine.  I honestly never pictured myself as someone who would enjoy Country Western dance lessons so darn much.

Tonight started a fresh round of lessons.  The weather was simply awful outside, crazy raining which really had my cough acting up.  It had been a long day at work and on the drive home I started finding myself thinking of excuses to stay home.  I gave myself a quick kick in the behind and went to class.

There were only two groups tonight a beginner class and an intermediate class.  That meant that my partner, an advanced level dancer had to take a step down and dance with the intermediate group.  It makes a big difference dancing with someone who knows what he is doing.  It can also be very intimidating.  Thankfully, Don had lots of patience, and taught me quite a few extra moves that we didn’t learn in class tonight.  I still struggled to let him lead, but found that after a few practice runs it was easier to just step back and let him lead me where I needed to go.  When we had the free dance period of the night he was very patient when showing me new things and gave me lots of tips to help make me a better dancer.

Next week I may be brave enough to wear the python boots, it really is important to wear shoes that don’t have rubber soles.  I need to get used to just regular walking n them before I take them dancing.  Baby steps… I had to giggle tonight when Don pushed me to try new things..and I said sure I’ll try.  Doing a few dance moves doesn’t seem like all that much after the major life changes I’ve gone through in the last few months.  All of those changes started with baby steps too…

Life isn’t worth living unless you’re willing to take some big chances and go for broke.– Eliot Wiggington

One word...

A friend posted a status message to Facebook this week…using one word, how would you describe me?  Being the Facebook sheep that I am, I posted that message as my status.  A few friends posted their single word descriptions of me:  friend, confidant, FUN, vibrant, cheeky, generous, warmth, inspiration and fantabulous.  There was one word though that made me giggle and took me back to the days when I used to hang out in chat rooms—coconuts.  Out of context, the word doesn’t seem nearly as funny–but I can remember hours of conversations surrounding coconut rounds and other Little Debbie treats.  Silly goofy stuff that happened back in 1997 that makes me still laugh today.  Flyre that one word comment was priceless and certainly fired up a lot of laughing and joking as we remembered my friend Flyre chatting from the closet in his Docker shorts.  I think the winner for favorite IRC chat word was attic.  There was also some mention of K9—trust me, you had to be there.

Another status challenge I posted was How did we meet?  Once again stories wound back around to those days in the 90’s…Thor..JD..and that reminded me of JD and his magical backpack.  I know that when I travel and take my magical backpack along, it makes me think about some of those silly conversations.  Great times, and wonderful memories of friends.  That seems like a lifetime ago, I think because it was.

I had a great mail day today, the photos from the Willie Nelson concert arrived in the mail.  I think that’s the nudge I need to finally assemble some scrapbook pages and begin putting together a scrapbook of my life in Texas. Things have happened so fast, and I have many great memories that need to be tucked away so I can remember each and every event.

I also received a prayer shawl book that I ordered from Amazon, The Prayer Shawl Companion.  I’ve made 3 prayer shawls in the past, each time I felt such a nudge from the Universe to do it.  This week the Universe nudged me to make two more shawls for people who I think could use that extra love and comfort from a prayer shawl.  The designs are incredible, there are lots of stories about the prayer shawl ministry and some nice blessings to put with the completed shawl.  I will head to the yarn store this weekend to buy the yarn for shawl number 1.  The challenge is going to be which pattern to choose.  I’ll have to ponder that one.

I made over a dozen scarves for friends for my Christmas scarf-a-palooza project.  The scarves were on big needles with fat yarn, and the recipient’s were all very appreciative.  A shawl, takes a bit longer and more of a commitment.  But I know from past experience that until I knit those shawls nothing else is going to seem like a worthwhile project.

In preparation to start the shawls I finished up some baby booties to send off to one of my charities.  Being eco-friendly I made cute little gift bags and filled them with the handknitted booties and a few other baby items.  I found myself smiling a lot as I put them together. I will take them to the post office on Saturday.

Last night I decided to spoil myself and Googled a recipe for Blue Chees Macaroni and Cheese..it was simply amazing and put a big smile on my face.

Hmmm..my face seems to be having lots and lots of smiles these days.  I see that as a very good thing!  Off to country and western dance lessons tonight.  It’s become one of the many highlights of my week.

…now I just need to find some time and get those cowgirl boots bought!

Memories...

“I’ve never tried to block out the memories of the past, even though some are painful. I don’t understand people who hide from their past. Everything you live through helps to make you the person you are now.” –Sophia Loren

I have spent the weekend making memories. I’ve had a big event, the Willie Nelson concert, a helper high event, making sandwiches for the homeless in Dallas, and a just hanging out with friends watching the Dallas Cowboys play on TV. Each of these events were filled with love, laughter and imprinted memories in my brain and on my heart. My life is so abundant and filled with so much joy and happiness.

It’s amazing how little things can take you back to a time in your life when memories were made. Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend who is dealing with some very challenging health issues with her father, and of course the conversation turned to quality of life, and took me back to the last few months of my mother’s life. We talked about the dialysis, and I remember my mom pulling out the shunt, this is not what she wanted, and being there the last time the ambulance picked her up and took her to dialysis the week before she died. I can see her tears and hear her cries of pain when they returned her home afterwards. I can remember driving home after that weekend and in my heart knowing that it was time to let her go, it was the right thing to do. Her body stepped in, and made that decision and Hospice was there to help make the end much more comfortable for her.

Today I heard from another friend who reached out to ask for help and support for her mother that has been diagnosed with cancer. I sat at the computer, tears streaming down my face knowing how much it meant to me to have the support of my friends when I was dealing with those months of my mom in the hospital. I can still see in my mind those Saturdays when I would walk into her room and see the cards sent by my friends. Each one of those not just a card of support for my mom, but they felt like hugs to me. One day I will find the strength to put them together in an album. For now, I’ve been able to look at them all again once, when I really needed a dose of support. (crazy Asians!)

Yesterday I saw a video posted by a friend that also talks about loss and the end of life. I admire Meachy’s faith and her determination.

Driving home from the concert the other night the conversation in the car turned to friendship. I know that I have an incredible circle of friends. I could ask for help and there would be all sorts of people in line to help. I would do the same for all of them, and as an extension for that for those that are important in their life.

I think the Universe has been sending me messages this weekend about living and enjoying life. It also is a clear message to tell people how you feel, to let them know that they matter to you. Maybe my role in the Universe is to put these thoughts together and to help people realize that it’s important to be in the moment, and to not put things off..saying that one day I will do this..or one day I will do that. If something is on your mind, or in your heart to do…do it now.

Perhaps part of this reflection is also tied to the next generation, my oldest daughter’s birthday is today. She sent me a few text messages yesterday asking me what time she was born? She wanted to make sure she was celebrating at the hour that she was born. (Kids, gotta love em!) I told her she was actually 2 weeks late, and they had to induce labor. I told her that I had to be at the hospital at 7:00 a.m. but she didn’t actually arrive until 3:30. It took me back to that time in my life, I remember being huge, waddling around miserable, the room at the hospital, the delivery room. Memories are so very powerful.

~ We do not remember days; we remember moments. ~

It's all about me you know?

I couldn’t even type that subject line with a straight face.  But I did buy a few gifts for myself today.  Our new boss nudged us out the door at 2 today.  I used that time to stop at the book store, Target, Hobby Lobby, Pier 1, not really needing to buy anything in particular, just having fun.

I have big plans for 2010, so I bought myself a nice planner to keep track of appointments, events and my life in general.  I have looked several places, even online, and this planner kept calling my name.  I had decided that I wanted to buy a few Christmas books and picked up Rick Warren’s The Purpose of Christmas, he is the author of  The Purpose Driven Life.  I also bought Debbie Macomber’s A Gift to Last, two short stories about Christmas.  I also bought myself a paint-by-number kit.  I can’t for the life of me explain that purchase, it just seemed like a fun thing to do and so it went into my cart.  I can remember Christmases long past finding paint-by-number pictures under the tree.  Maybe it was a brief wave of nostalgia, maybe it was just feeling the need to have something different to look forward to under the tree.

I’ve started a few new Christmas traditions this year, like watching Christmas movies non-stop for the last two weeks.  I am finding that they all have a happy ending, and are uplifting for this time of the year.  I’ve also added to my cardinal Christmas ornament collection.  Why cardinals?

Two years ago, I lost my mom on Christmas Eve…it was very hard, and even with all of these new traditions in my new corner of the world, I still have a deep sadness that she is gone.  It was hard to see her suffer, and I knew in my heart that she would either die on Christmas Eve or Christmas.  I believe she was waiting for my daughter to arrive from Hawaii, and for all of us to be together at the house.

My sister’s family, my daughters and I were there.  We enjoyed a holiday dinner, opened gifts and played games.  She was in the next room, but the nurse said she thought she was listening to her family those last moments of her life.  At one point, the nurse came over to my sister and I and said, “It’s time.”  We each stood on a side of her and held her hand, and talked to her about the craziness in the other room…and urged her to go.  We told her we would be ok, that it was time to end her suffering.

The view from my mother’s bed was of her beloved bird feeders.  In those last moments of her life a big fat red cardinal made his way to the feeder and was having his own Christmas banquet.  My sister and I both talked to her about the birds, and she was gone.  I think she died in the way that she would have wanted, with her family close by.

So, as I hang the cardinals on my tree, I think of her.  I’ve started accumulating a collection of birds that are placed around my apartment.  Growing up I can remember this branch that was spray painted white and tacked to the wall.  My mom had a collection of glass birds that clipped on the branches. That tree branch made many moves with us and over time all of the birds became lost and broken, but it’s a vivid memory to me even today.

Tomorrow night I will not be alone.  I am spending the evening and staying all night with my friend Carol, her fiancee Jeff and his son Alex. It will be a night of food,  laughter, games and friendship.  I need that to help me get through Christmas Eve.  It’s a bit like Thanksgiving for me, it holds lots of special memories of Christmas Eves spent with my daughters growing up.  Christmas Eve was the time we spent together as a family with our own traditions.  There were always board games under the tree, new pajamas and a special Christmas movie.  I would fix a table full of appetizers and we would play games and then settle down to watch a movie before bedtime.  I know that I did all that I could to make Christmas and especially Christmas Eve a memorable time for my family.

I miss my daughters, it’s been over a year since I have seen them.  I don’t plan on letting another year go by without seeing them.  I would like for them to come to my corner of the world, to see my life here..to see that I am happy…that I am still their mom, even if I am now in another part of the country.

I feel that I am living a life of abundance here in Texas.  Yes, there have been changes, and those changes have come with a price.  One day I hope that they will understand why I made the decisions that I did with my life.  I think I have raised them right, and one day they will understand.

I didn’t always understand my mom, and the decisions that she made in her life.  I know more than a few times I gave her a whole lot of grief, and I am sure I broke her heart more than a few times growing up.  I can remember some of those times pretty vividly looking back on life now.  But I know in my heart that she forgave me those small hurts, and that she was proud of the person that I became.  I also know that if she were alive, she would be just as proud of me today.  I feel that she is still with me as one of my guardian angels.

Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts.  ~Janice Maeditere

I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month.  ~Harlan Miller

I confessed at work not too long ago that I still believed in Santa.  That certainly made heads turn, and the room grew quiet.  I do believe in Santa and always will.  Santa is love..and I’ve also spent the last few weeks focusing on my favorite things–that aren’t actually things.  Christmas is not about things, it’s about love.

To my daughters Shelly & LeighAnna may you always have the wonder of Christmas that you had in those days of making gingerbread houses, baking rolled out sugar cookies, playing board games in front of the tree, snuggled up in “the nest” watching Christmas movies and waking up in the morning to stockings filled with packages wrapped in gold paper and more presents than could fit under the tree…I wish you the wonder of Christmas all year through.

Merry Christmas my friends..thank you for adding to my life each and every day…I look forward to seeing what sort of adventures 2010 has in store for all of us.

…tis the season, share the love…

Ann

That hometown feeling...

I have vivid memories of my friend Maria talking about “that hometown feeling” while living in Ohio. We lived in a small town, and there seemed to be a core group of people who were involved with just about every activity in town. From events at the school, to summer rec athletics to the local community Pumpkin Show you could count on seeing the same faces. That hometown feeling as Maria called it was a sense of community, a sense of pride that can come from living in a small tight knit community.

Maria died of cancer a few years ago, a great loss to the community. She truly was the spirit of that small town in many ways. I felt very honored to call her my friend, and even now, I know she is with me as one of my guardian angels.

One would think that living in a big community like the Dallas metroplex, that it would be hard to have those types of hometown feelings. I know when I was back in the cornfields, I would have thought, big city, that sort of hometown feeling just isn’t possible in a community so large. A country mouse like me would more than likely get lost in the shuffle with the big city living. I was wrong…

Yesterday I met with some members of the Dallas Random Acts of Kindness group to bake cookies to be handed out by the Salvation Army on Christmas Day.  My group consisted of 3 women, and two teenage boys and after 4 hours we managed to have rolled out, cut out, baked, iced and decorated over 200 cookies.  We were one of the many small groups meeting in kitchens around the metroplex to take on this special task.

As we listened to Christmas tunes, laughed and talked I felt like I was back in Ohio, it was that hometown feeling.  The only difference is that my *hometown* is much bigger now, and the need to help is probably even greater here.

Maybe it’s PollyAnna of me to think that on Christmas Day when those eating at the Salvation Army, instead of being surrounded by family, will feel a little special that someone took the time to bake them special cookies for the holiday.  Maybe those homemade cookies will take them back to happier Christmases in their past.  I’m ok, if just one person has that reaction, my time will have been well spent.

I can’t count the number of cookies I have baked for the holidays, have baked in the past year…it’s in the thousands, but those cookies yesterday gave me a special feeling, that holiday spirit, that warm and fuzzy feeling of making a difference.

…tis the season…share the love.

Getting' my cowgirl on...

 I have this photo on my vision board.  It’s by my favorite Texas artist and I plan to buy this print to hang on my wall.  It just speaks to me, and I think reflects how I feel about myself and my life in Texas.

Today I received a unexpected cash surprise and I’ve decided to use the money to buy myself a pair of cowboy boots.  I could use the money to pay bills, or to give to charity, or to buy supplies to make things for charity..or I could treat myself to a pair of boots.

Oh, the checks definitely not enough to even remotely cover the cost of a pair of custom made boots from Leddy’s in The Stockyards—but one day I will have a pair of those too.  But I think I will have enough to buy something a little special.  Maybe just the fact that I am buying myself a pair of boots is special all in itself?

It’s just another step in my transformation to TexAnnie, although, I think I’ve been TexAnnie for quite some time. Long before I moved to Texas my good friend JD gave me the nickname TexAnnie.  I think TexAnnie was inside of me, she just needed some of that Texas blue sky and sunshine to help her make the final transformation.

I’ve received a few Christmas letters this week inside of cards and it made me ponder my last year, and if I were ever to write a Christmas letter just what would I put?  So, here is my online version…

Dear Friends,

It’s been an interesting year for me.  This year I have travelled to South Beach in Florida and sat on the beach drinking wine with friends, and listening to the waves moving back and forth on the shore well into the next morning.  It’s a memory that will forever be in my heart.  There was another trip to Florida where I swam in the ocean long after dark, and spent an amazing time with friends watching the LRO launch.  There was also another small trip to Mendocino, California to spend time with people who are very special in my life, and to meet new friends who have also secured a place in my heart.

Work has been great, I was nominated for employee of the month twice, and won the honor the second time.  I was promoted at work and received a raise.  I even received a shout out at the leadership awards program at work for my online work for the company.

I’ve found a way to continue my charity work through two Hospice groups and have recently started doing some hands on volunteer work with the Random Acts of Kindness group in Dallas.  My virtual charity projects continue as I send things to Mongolia as part of the Dulaan project, to California to a Planned Parenthood group, knitted hats to the Beanies for Baghdad project…and assorted small little projects in an attempt to make a difference in this world.

My daughters continue to make me proud with their giving spirits and their determination to live good and active lives.  I miss them both, more than they can even imagine.

I live a very abundant life.  I’ve added many more people to my circle of friends in Dallas, and I work to stay in contact with friends from all over the country as well as all over the world. I haven’t forgotten where I came from, I know that the years leading up to this point have helped to shape me into the person that I have known all along I was meant to be.

2009 has been a fantastic year full of all sorts of adventures and joy.  I know that the Universe has some terrific things planned for me in 2010, and I plan to hold on tight for the ride.

Best wishes for a happy holiday season to you and yours.
<3

Ann

P.S. Hmmmm…perhaps I may need some spurs to go with those boots?

A season filled with tradition...

“Never get tired of doing little things for others. Sometimes, those little
things occupy the biggest part of their hearts.” –Author Unknown

Yesterday was a tough day for me…I put a package in the mail to each of my daughters for Christmas and really was not prepared for how hard that would hit me.  Last year I was in Ohio in early December, and we celebrated Christmas together at that time.  But this year, I won’t be going back to Ohio.  It really didn’t make much sense, traveling there in the cold of winter to only have an hour–2 at the most with them.  So I opted to stay in Texas this year and to mail their packages.  It’s not the first Christmas that I spent without them, three years ago I was all alone on Christmas and very depressed, I can honestly say it was the saddest Christmas of my life, even harder than when my mom died on Christmas eve the next year..

Don’t be sad for me, I’m certainly not sad.  Yes, there were a lot of tears yesterday, but my life is amazing, and I am very happy with the place that I am in these days.  I will find a way to see both daughters in 2010, if it means them coming here, or me going to where they are.  Maybe that eased that ache in a mother’s heart a bit.

Christmas has always been a time filled with many traditions for me.  I smiled on Friday night when my daughter in Hawaii sent me pictures of her Hawaiian Christmas tree and a cookie sheet full of gingerbread men and cats that she was baking for the holidays.  Yesterday I received a Christmas card from my Ohio daughter and her boyfriend.  Baking and sending cards were traditions that my daughters grew up with, it’s nice to see them continuing those traditions even though we are far apart this year.  I have no doubts that both of them will be baking sugar cookies using their mom’s cookie recipe this season.

I feel a bit like Santa’s baking elf, I’ve long since lost count of just how many cookies I have baked this year…probably more than I have baked in my entire life.  But my circle of friends, and adopted family extend far and wide.  I’ve made great new friends in Texas and I have friends scattered all over the US.  My goal this year was to send off boxes to cookies to friends.  Last Wednesday I put 24 boxes of cookies in the mail.  Most of them arrived yesterday and the thanks from friends really helped me move past the sadness of not being with my daughters.

Life is about choices, and those choices usually come with a price.  I told both daughters that my wish for Christmas from them this year is copies of all of those years of pictures with Santa that I left behind.  It’s a small request, and I hope that they find a way to make that happen.  Those times of standing in line at the mall to be photographed with Santa were a Christmas tradition that carried over well into their teens.  I remember the year when they stopped getting their pictures taken with Santa, they were “too cool” for that to happen.  I remember crying, and being very upset…but life went on, and I still had years of grinning photos with Santa in gold frames that decorated the mantle every year at Christmas.

I’ve had a busy holiday season, baking, making scarves for special friends and sending Christmas cards.  My tree is up and filled with lights and ornaments from Christmas past.  I’ve added a few new ornaments this year, marking my first full year in Texas.  I feel that I am home. I’ve known for quite some time that this is the place that I belong.  I have a very full life filled with lots of friends and love.  I have friends that are struggling financially, emotionally and physically this year. It’s made me take a look at my life.  I have a job that I love, the people I work with are amazing, my circle of friends never cease to amaze me, I am living a life of abundance beyond what I ever could have imagined even a year ago.

Life is good…tis the season, share the love.